You can't go home again..... or can you...?

My RL life got a bit of a shock last week.  My mom had a small stroke.  Now, honestly, she's had small ones that didn't affect her much, most of her life.  I don't think anyone has realized that, even her, but its true.  This one had more of an immediate affect, but no long term effects.  Thank God for that.  Now, you have to keep in mind that the woman is 79 years old, but you'd never know it.  She lives alone, still works full time and is very active.  She has slowed down over the course of the years, but that's normal.

So, to make sure she was ok, I left a few days ago to visit.  As my previous post states, I moved away.  8 hours away to be exact, but for me, that's not a big deal.  For my family and friends......its a HUGE deal.  Such a big deal that I was informed that I should not expect a warm reception when I came home.  To be fair, I realize that but didn't think it was necessarily true for everyone and I was right.  My mom was a bit reserved but overall was happy to see me.  My friends were happy and my boys even were cool with it.  I was only there for a full day, but I saw most of who I wanted to.  My brother is the only one I didn't see, and he's the one who informed me of the cool reception remark.  But, he never greets me warmly, so I wasn't shocked that he said that.  So, I avoided him....*smiles*

But, what surprised me most, was my feelings on the matter.  I didn't want to stay there.  I was highly disappointed in a few things and that colored everything for me.  I didn't like the feeling but it was there.  I missed my new home....very much and that was a shock since I never miss anything that much.  I missed the new person in my life and that was kinda scary.  Again, it was the intensity of it that was shocking.  No one there understands me and that's fine.  I agree that I'm kinda hard to understand at times. But I'm not that close mouthed.  *shrugs*  Oh well.....stuff happens....

So, my mom will be ok.  My brother will have to be reigned in on some things he wants to do with her, but thats normal.  I'm here, they are there....and that's how its gonna be.  But, don't count me out yet.....